The Perfect Girlfriend

The Perfect Girlfriend

July 15, 2013 Off By Manjil P. Saikia


Well, at the very beginning let me make it absolutely clear to you that the perfect girlfriend does not exist! And the remainder of this post will be an attempt on my part to convince you of this fact. But before that, think carefully for a while if you really think that your girlfriend is perfect? If you think she is then please read this, and if you think she is not then still read this to see in which category your girlfriend falls in.


Since the dawn of human civilization, the primary goal of mankind has been to understand women. I am not exaggerating, history is replete with this fact. Why do you think Troy fell? Why do you think Columbus discovered America? Probably he was running away from his wife! Whatever may be the case, it seems to me that one of the most difficult things to figure out is girls. I am a mathematics student and there is a general consensus that math is difficult. Believe me when I say this, that math is way too easy than trying to figure out what your girlfriend really means to say or really says. There is so much gaps in between the words that you will be sometimes frustrated beyond a limit to try and figure out what you must and should have done. Now, this piece might seem to many to be a rant because probably I have a very nagging girlfriend or probably I do not have any. Let me assure you that I am writing this with a clear mind and an even clearer conscience, feel free to criticize me if you feel the need for it.


I write a blog which gets a few visits everyday. The most visited article is one where I discuss the merits of having a girlfriend. I have since then been thinking about writing on the demerits of having a girlfriend, but somehow never have done that. This might be somewhat in that genre. So with all the above disclaimers I am now all set to begin.


There are really two kinds of girls out there, one kind is your girlfriend and the others is what the girlfriend calls ‘she’ or ‘her’ or by any other generic name. Now to the girlfriend ‘she’ will always be the same regardless of the girl in question. Howver, there can be many many different kinds of girlfriends. Let me illustrate a few for you.


  1. 1.      The Possesive Girlfriend: This is the most common variety of girlfriend that is available. She will be always by your side and never let you as much as see any other girl, let alone talk to one. This will at first seem very cute and sweet to you, but as time goes on, you will find that this extreme jealosuy is a ruse in other to hide some other intention, whatever that may be. And before long, you will realize that probably she is not that perfect after all!
  2. 2.      The Cute Girlfriend: This is perhaps the most dangerous variety that is available. Your girlfriend is very cute, and you flaunt that property in front of all your friends. Only later, you realize that so many guys are after her and she seems to be enjoying all the attention that she gets. Come on man, who wouldn’t really? You tell her constantly that you love her, but then you realize that however hard you try there will always be someone better than you hitting on her. And the worst part will be that she reciprocates. Now, she ain’t that perfect man!
  3. 3.      The Nagging Girlfriend: There are girlfriends and there are nagging girlfriends. At some point, every girlfriend will become a nagging girlfriend. If this hasn’t already happened to you then it soon will. For guys the initial romantic period lasts maybe a couple of months, but for girls they really believe in ‘forever’, indiced by the vampire diaries and cute vampires no doubt. Soon you will find her habits irritating, her phone calls or texts disturbing and her constant need for attention a pain in the ass. What then? You just live with the fact that the one you thought to be perfect isn’t that perfect now.
  4. 4.      The Attention Seeking Girlfriend: This will be a combination of all the above and is a common characteristic of all girlfriends. She will drive you crazy, ask you to do things that you wouldn’t consider doing, but which you have to do to profess your undying love for her. She will test you and make you miserable. But you must be patient my dear, because probably she loves and cares for you a lot. Still at times, you will have this pertinent question in your mind that is this really worth it?
  5. 5.      The ‘so called’ Girlfriend: This is perhaps what happens to many guys out there, even I was a victim. There will be girls who will be your best buddy and will act like your girlfriend, flirt with you and give you ideas. But when you claim them to be your girlfriend in public, then they will just smile and say dream on. What then, you will think she is so perfect, I wish she were mine. Let me tell you buddy, its for your best that she isn’t yours. Why break this perfect idea of hers in your head and do something stupid like come in a relationship? My advice would be to go and watch ‘Pyaar ka Punchnama’ and ‘Chikipedia’.


Ok, so by now if you are still continuing to read this then I am sure your girlfriend will atleast fall in one category. I have left out many different types, probably I will speak about them in some later piece.


Now, don’t get me wrong here. I am not against relationships and love, I am just pointing out a particular pitfall of all this. If you want to be just titilated then there are so many different ways you can do that which oviates a girlfriend. But if you also belive in forever and ever then maybe you must give it a shot. After all, as they say nothing is perfect in this world.


[P.S. Apologies to all my ex girlfriends and my present girlfriend(s)!!]

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