The Last StandFebruary 15, 2011
“Beep, beep, beep……………………….. beep”-was the blaring sound in the screen. It was not a simple screen. It was screen that was indicating the heart beats of a girl named Avilasha. She had a car accident on a highway. Moreover she was pregnant. At that time she was senseless and lying on a bed of a hospital. Dr. Vijay was sitting beside her. Her husband had died in the same car accident. But, that was unknown to her. Actually, Avilasha was the lost love of Dr Vijay. He used to love her much. Suddenly at 12’ o clock she had some movements in the fingers of her hand. He stood up and came near. She opened her eyes. For her, it was very different and she could not move much and remember much of what happened after the accident. She saw Vijay after so many days and was a little bit shocked. Vijay cleared her. She was told everything except about her husband. Her new born baby was safe enough and was kept in the baby room. Vijay asked her not to talk much and to take rest.
He came outside with tears in his eyes. He was much worried for her and everything that happened to her. The nurse who was attending to her from the beginning was sent to her cabin. Dr. Vijay, a true lover indeed, couldn’t see his love – Avilasha lying in pain. He was thinking of how to tell her about her husband after a few days. These thoughts almost made him he lose his nerve. Suddenly, the bile rose to his throat.
Inside the cabin,
AVILASHA:- Hi, sister …
NURSE:- Oh! … AVILASHA you are fine? How is your wound now?
AVILASHA:- Ok! How is my husband?
NURSE:- Don’t worry! He is fine.
AVILASHA:- Can I see him now?
NURSE:- No dear, you take rest now.Later on you can… Now take the
soup and rest for a while.
Outside the cabin, Dr. Vijay was in deep thought about what and how to break the news about her husband….
56 hours passed. Dr. Vijay came to her cabin.
As he walked, his past flashed before his eyes. They had both loved each other, but her parents made her marry someone else. He was after all, a NOBODY at that time.
Dr. Vijay came in with her little baby. She had given birth to a cute daughter. She was very happy to take her on her lap and feed her. On being asked about her husband, he just controlled the situation and with his abeyance told her some false news. She was convinced by his words.
As Dr. Vijay left the cabin, a cell phone kept near Avilasha’s pillow rang. As she picked up the phone, a junior doctor began discussing the death case of her husband… She was shocked and cawed. The cell phone belonged to Dr. Vijay that was accidently left behind.
Outside the room, some distance from Avilasha’s cabin…
JUNIOR DOCTOR:- Sir!!! You are here…who was that on your cell phone? I told…….about the death case of Avilasha’s husband…
Dr. VIJAY:- OH SHIT!!!
Dr. Vijay remembered that he had left the cell phone in Avilasha’s cabin. He ran back with all his might. He entered the room. Unfortunately, he found her dead there and her little baby crying on her lap.
Six months passed, Dr. Vijay adopted the baby girl and named her Avilasha after her mother. 18 more years passed, she grew up and a strange coincidence made her fall in love with a guy whose name was Vijay. Dr. Vijay had not married to take care of little Avilasha and now she was happy with another Vijay…
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the question that remains in my mind is that how could avilasha die leaving an infant orphan,and moreover if seen as a story the plot is average and subtle,try to eplain the character you depict and bring more drama into the scene.The reason i have mentioned this is beacause when avilasha confronts her past realtion ,there that situaion is very dramatic.the very feel of the situatin must be described aptly else the story you have conceived looses its flare.
hey rathin…. great piece of work…. eagerly waiting for the next one….. keep it up dude!!
the story what i read was very sadness.the story also indicates a great true love.i want from you more and more story to publish in this site.
hi rathin congrats on ur first story …………..i really liked the content and the way u presented it ………… u really got a long way to go……….
to point out the cons in the passage i willl like to talk about the overuse of words like ” move much and remember much”…the word ” much”. i thnk u get it..
congrats once again ….lookin forward to read more from your side…..God bless….and as the sayin goes” the whole is much better than the sum of itz parts”…i liked ur story..
hey rathin your story was really great…..it hs really shown how broken heart becomes independent sweet heart….and sustains. nice kip it up
Congratulations!! rathin on your first published story……hope you continue to amaze and entertain us with many more of your delightful short stories……waiting eagerly for the next installment:):)
that’s some serious romance!!!!!!!!!!!