Sleepless Nights, lazy days: Mom on Tenterhooks

Sleepless Nights, lazy days: Mom on Tenterhooks

October 1, 2013 Off By Mama Tenterhooks

My dear darling baby,


Before I say anything, let’s get something straight, shall we? No matter how much you kick and squirm when Mommy lies on her side, she can’t sleep on her back, baby! And really, I wish I didn’t have to squish you and make you go all “Geroffme!” all night as I toss and turn and lie on my left and right side alternately, but the doctor says it’s good for you, so I have to do it. Now Mommy’s not complaining about achy neck and numb shoulders, is she? So be a good baby and let Mommy sleep, will you my honey bun?


Speaking of sleep, now I know I said you will never hear Mommy complain about anything that has to do with you, and Mommy has kept her word! As much as she would like to be vocal about how these days almost everything seems to ache and getting off the couch and sitting back down again feels like a Herculean task, Mommy doesn’t utter a single “Ouch!” Neither does she moan about clothes not fitting her anymore, or swollen ankles or having to read the ingredients off a label religiously at the super market before she can deem it “healthy” for you.


But picture this.


Remember that night when you decided that enough was enough and just didn’t stop kicking? That was 3am in the morning baby. Your Daddy was snoring right next to me, almost taunting me with his ability to sleep through the night. And try as I might, I couldn’t get you to stop. So like a good Mommy, I did my kick counts (not that I was worried, it just gave me something to do), updated the iOS on my iPhone, and then wondered what else I could do. And this is what I came up with.


Oh the woes of a pregnant mother,
If it’s not one worry then it’s another
Oh how would life be without anxiety?
Don’t ask her, she won’t know,
(Not until week forty!)

The first month is that of ignorant bliss,
Which changes as soon as AF* gives a miss,
Rush to the loo! Pee on a stick!
Wait for that BFP**, watch the three minutes tick!

Oh the woes of the awful first trimester,
When she’s hurling in the toilet praying for it to get better,
Then comes impatience for that first visit,
Waiting to hear the thump-a-lumpa heartbeat.

Is it 14 weeks already? Am I on the green?
Oh nausea free days, where have you been?
One down, two more to go!
And yet the anxiety is far from over, you know.

The glorious second trimester claims to be the easier,
But surely, darling Mommy knows better,
Is she showing at 16 weeks? If not, when?
What about at week 20? Will baby start kicking then?

The fifth month goes and the sixth shows its face,
Enter Ms. Klutz and Mrs. Scatterbrain; say goodbye to grace.
Burping, farting, scratching, peeing,
All of a sudden, weird things are happening!

Is baby moving too much? Or not enough?
Oh keeping kick counts could be so tough!
Why is my baby still breech? What will I do?
My friend just got a c-section, would I have to, too?

Now the woes of the third trimester this mother wouldn’t know.
As a first time mom, things seem to be going slow.
Throw in an anterior placenta that refuses to budge,
And a baby who wouldn’t move without a prod or a nudge.
27 weeks going on 28, still a long way to go!
Life’s good, but wish worries were low.

Oh the woes of a pregnant mother,
If it’s not one thing it’s another.
Add your woes, feel free to rhyme!
Here’s to the rest of the pregnancy, have a good time!


That’s right, baby. You got me writing poetry!


12 weeks still seems like a long time to wait. But then, we’ve already bought your tiny little cot (although it is still in storage in the flat box), and Daddy’s picked up your colorful sheets and a pretty canopy for your cot. And the best part? He also picked up a book for you, one that he reads out to you every night! And Aunty A got you your first pair of socks, even though it will be at least a year before your tiny feet are going to fit into them. Mommy and Daddy are both watching videos on how to bathe you, burp you and swaddle you. We really can’t wait for you to be here, baby. And just between you and me, Daddy’s been making you listen to Christmas songs so you get the hint and be here in time for Christmas; so make him the happiest man on the earth, will you?


Mommy loves you just so much baby. Be happy and healthy and grow up really fast in there, okay?


Big squishy hugs and sloppy kisses,

Mom on Tenterhooks.

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