October 1, 2013 Off By Kanchan Bhattacharya

This reference to my verse is for those to those who ask me, to which yawner does my poetry belong? I am averse to them. A verse! Yawners grow in gardens of boredom, I am taken aback. My poetry comes from my heart, I have never written a poem to any yawner.


My muse never yawns. She smiles, all the time- why are people so rude? I yawn.


I look for rhyme words- yawn-prawn-awn-lawn, gone-dawn-sawn-pawn-spawn, warn, corn, drawn on and on…


And then was when this insolent reader- she read the opening lines of my magnum opus. She was smiling and I smiled back, imagining a warm kiss… she said, this belongs to the yawner of humour, to which I tendered a rejoinder. Nay, I flashed a hot reply. I said no, my poetry never heard of an owner called Yawner, much less of humour, I ask, why would my poetry belong to any owner- mine belong to me, in the sense I write those.


Morose prose goes past my nose…


She whispered “Yawner of poetry means”… I said never mind, I hate the phrase. I do not think my poetry makes people yawn. Not this early in the morn.


Yawner- a person who opens the mouth wide with a deep inhalation, usually involuntarily from drowsiness, fatigue, or boredom.


She smiled wider, “Poet of erudite ignorance”, she began- “Yawner means”… I screamed- “Yawner means all of the above, I quote/unquote, it is mean, yawner induces yawns”.


She began again- “Poet, listen- I have a cup of tea in my hand… let me spell yawner”.


I told her yes- spall the damned yawner with heat, or take this hammer to kill the damned one- she uttered gibberish, as if she was crusading for the yawner. She yelled Gee, ye, en, are ye! I said sigh and yawned at her! I became the yawner.


I am not Gee ye en! I am Gen-Old. I went to sleep, aghast. She pinched me… as the awns from my nose changed colours. The hair of my moustache changed from black to grey. The muse turned.


Yawner. Pah! She made a pornographic utterance- zhawn-ruh!


She picked up the clipboard and scrawled G-E-N-R-E. I said, “Genray!!! Eureka, but what was that?” “Oh!” she tried one last time, looking green- “Genre- Zone Rue!”


“What has that to do with yawner”, I asked, “for that matter, with Jenner?”


She fainted!

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