Public ka Chooo… Ha

Hard to believe!

Mr. Pugland used to work for an IT company in Delhi. He was originally from Pune but had been in Delhi for 4 years.

He lived in a double-room apartment with nominal rent and good neighborhood. Life had been rosy for him until a… came into his life and kept returning on being thrown out.

One day, after bath, Pugland opened his undergarment drawer and witnessed a horrific scene. The piece of clothing he was going to pick jumped toward him. Yes, jumped! The clothing bounced off Pug’s stomach and fell on the ground. Meanwhile, having had this piece of clothing suddenly jump and strike his stomach, Pug took a couple of hasty steps backward. He simultaneously wrapping the bedsheet around his bare body.

Three seconds later, one of the corners of the undergarment moved upward and a mouse (chooha, in Hindi) ran out of it to some corner of the house.

‘Phew’, said Pug! He was happy that it was a mouse. A ghost in an undergarment was never going to be an educated guess.

Next, he ignored the garment that had been floored, wore an alternative, dressed up, and left for office. He then updated the Facebook status with the tale of the mouse and later retreated to work. Little did he know his life would be changed that morning onward.

The following days were not something to speak highly of. The mouse, the stupid little bugger, kept showing up at the most unexpected of places. Shaving kit, vegetable basket, television top, dining table… just everywhere. You name a place in the house and the mouse would have made a special appearance there.

Mr. Pugland kept tolerating everything… until one day. It was a Sunday afternoon and the mouse made an appearance from behind the washbasin while Pugland was in position lacking in dignity. ‘That’s it’, said Pug. ‘Time for you to go Choohe’, he thought.

Pug went to his local market, bought a mousetrap, laid the trap, and caught the little bugger in a matter of 4 hours. Pug then teased the mouse by making some weird squeaky sounds and left his home with the rodent.

Having released the chooha a couple of km away from home, Pug returned. He felt victorious.

The next morning, chooha made a special appearance at the refrigerator. It had apparently returned. Pug was shocked. He knew it was the same chooha; he had noticed it way too often to be able to distinguish it from other choohas.

Pug was not going to give up. He again managed to catch chooha with the same old trick. This time Pug released the chooha 10 km away from home.

But… the chooha returned!

This releasing and returning happened on a couple of more occassions. Pug had become extremely irritated now. He wondered, a. how come the Chooha kept returning, and b. how come the Chooha kept getting trapped in a couple of hours of putting the trap.

Anyway, he did not want to kill the chooha. But, chooha was not leaving Pug with many options, mind you.

Still, in his nicety, Pug decided to give it one more try. This time, he did not release the mouse; instead, he kept the whole mousetrap next to some bushes and returned. The mouse remained trapped, watching his ‘captor cum releaser’ behaving differently on this occassion.

Can you guess what happened the next morning?

Of course, the chooha returned… and made an appearance in the kitchen right next to the gas cylinder. Pug had stopped getting shocked; this ‘returning of the chooha’ was a usual thing for him now.

‘Alright’, he said… and murmured something that can’t be deciphered. Pug was to leave next day for Chandigarh for an official visit and little did the train staff know that one of their passengers was carrying a mousetrap with a mouse trapped.

Apparently, Pug had caught the mouse again and put the trap in one of his old bags. On reaching the Chandigarh station, Pug boarded an auto and threw the mouse trap on the first right turn. He was happy for the rest of his journey.

Two days later, Pug returned and unlocked the door to his apartment. Right next to the door, was the chooha. It looked like chooha was Pug’s dad waiting for his son to return from a trip.

Pug dropped his bags and looked in the direction where the kitchen knife was kept.

And…
Cuttttt…
.
.
.
…said the director. He had just completed the shooting of coming Monday’s breaking news on the famous Indian news channel, ChaalBaaj Tak.

—–

Sure enough, the next Monday, the breaking news flashed across the channel:

Breaking news… sting operation mei mili safalta… Aaj raat – ‘Ganesh ji ka jaadui jaanvar, vaapas aaye IT executive ke ghar‘.

The English version proclaimed: Breaking news… a successful sting operation… Watch tonight – ‘Lord Ganesha’s magical mouse, who keeps returning to an IT executive’s house‘.

Like every Monday, the channel returned the audience a ‘faking’ news in return of their viewership.

Kshitij Khurana, a satirist, an avid blogger. His blog ‘Dusht-ka-Drishtikone‘ and his picture blog Mitti-ka-Sher will make you die laughing and and still send a serious message across.

We welcome your comments at letters@friedeye.com

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