5 kinds of non-drinkers you will find at a party

5 kinds of non-drinkers you will find at a party

January 15, 2016 0 By Victor Mukherjee


Also, tips on not drinking and still enjoying [surviving] a house party


Don’t get fooled by the title, I love to drink, and I love to party (which often surpasses the Honey Singh benchmark of 4 am), in fact I have a huge capacity as far as consuming alcohol is concerned. On my 30th birthday party, my friends had made me drink around 17 vodka shots( four bottles of 175 ml, I kid you not), and I was still awake at 4:30 am. Don’t remember exactly what I was doing though. Actually no one remembers, they all had passed out or left by then.


I am not someone who enjoys a party at a disco, or a club or a lounge. If I have to drink outside, I’d rather do that sitting in a pub, enjoying some good classic rock or singing a few karaoke tracks. Dancing effortlessly on EDM and House or Bollywood tracks, is not my forte, mostly because I can’t dance effortlessly, and also because I don’t enjoy EDM and House( I don’t care, whose house it is) music. With Bollywood music I can still try and shake a leg (or break someone’s), but nothing comes close to having a house party.  In a house party, chances are that you know 75% of the people you meet there (except at your house, where you’d know at least 92%. 8% is reserved for the friend who gets a friend whom you don’t know). So from the rest of the bunch at the party, you have seen pictures or heard mentions of 80% on Facebook, and you meet a few new people as well. You wouldn’t even believe how many new friends you can make in house parties!


But this post is not only about parties, for that you can go to any search engine and look for lyrics of Honey Singh’s songs. This post is about those who don’t drink, and still emerge out of a house party like a champion. I can give you the example of five such types, who have evolved with the party scenario and modified themselves accordingly. Any resemblance with any of the five characters mentioned in this feature is not at all coincidental and I would rather challenge the readers (of course, for that you have to know the people I party with) to find out, who these five prototypes are…



So who do we have first? Why can’t we see that person? Oh! because he is like water, he mixes well with every drink. I am talking about that person who will be as excited as you are for the party, he will get the glasses for you, pour the drink for you, get you the ice cubes, munch on the snacks with you, he will even cheer with you, but with his glass of juice/soft drink. Once you are high, they will be high with you(on life, of course). They are so bloody natural at it that at times you forget that they don’t drink. And at 3 am, when you are drunk out of your guts, he is the one who will have a drunk conversation with you. So you’d definitely want to be water, if you are not drinking…

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These are of a very rare species. The world is a stage to them. Though they don’t drink, they only come to parties to perform and entertain. By this, they gain cult status amongst party lovers and people who drink, they actually invite them to come and entertain them. If you enter a party and see someone is performing madly and other are sitting and drinking around that person, there’s a 50-50 chance that, he is of this category. Make sure to have a couple of friends like this in your friend circle. Low on maintenance, high on entertainment…



These are also very rare non-drinkers, because after a few parties, they start drinking. They are like Ice, very rigid and stern about non-drinking in the first few parties, then they are the ones who will tell you how many quarters to keep for them. They are also the biggest chakhna eaters, they can never control their alcohol ( as they are just learning), they are the ones who are gonna throw up at the first few instances. In a nutshell, very dangerous non-drinkers to call for a house party

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The papa types, who is known in the circuit for not drinking. Occasionally he might have a breezer or two, but doesn’t prefer drinking. He will talk to everyone in the party, be part of every conversation that is going on, have an opinion on everything and everyone, and after the party be cool enough to drop people home. He is the father figure and absolutely essential in a party.

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These are the types who are the most difficult to mix with. They will come to a party because they love the host, and they are close to a couple of people there, but the whole time, they will sit in a corner and observe, occasionally replying to a few questions. They come to a party after they have had their dinners and of course they don’t drink, so the no-nonsense person. On a blue moon day, if you are very very lucky, you might get to see a few moves by him in a party, and that would become the talk of the town for the next few parties. They are like milk, because they don’t mix with any other alcohol, except chocolate/hazelnut liqueurs.

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Well, I’m sure there are many sub categories, but in my party experience these are five interesting types I have seen and observed. Next time when you are at a party, and see someone is not drinking, find out which type they are and let me know.


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