I have not been keeping very well these days. I wouldn’t say I had a very bad “1st week of the new year” but then, it was no different from any other week for me, other than the fact that I got to attend a “New- Year-party-cum-birthday-party” on the very first day of the year. It was the first week of my new job, in the new office, with new friends (colleagues, actually) and the same old environment, surrounded by people whom I don’t know, but will have to get along with to survive. It was nice to get invited to the party thrown by a fellow-worker. Not that she had any choice, though. I know, she would have left me out if she had the choice to. Sigh! I tried, dear Diary, I really did. I tried to be friendly with my new colleagues, tried to talk to them, tried to know them but they were simply not interested. Probably, it will take me some more time to make them realize that I can be one of them too. What am I saying? One of them? I think I am better off sharing my feelings with you alone, rather than talking to heartless beings like them.
Well, you might say that I am sulking, or that I am complaining. I am not, actually. I am only trying to comprehend the reality that I have been dropped into, trying my best to figure out what I am supposed to do with my life, trying to discover the mission that’s meant for me to accomplish. And so far, I have no idea. I don’t wish to sound like a depressive, but the new place has failed to lift up my spirits. This was not something I had wanted. However, I have no option but to live with it till I find a better opportunity. And till then, all I need to have is a little patience and a lot of endurance.
My mom was the only one I heard from during the week, other than my new boss, of course. She was thoughtful enough to guess that I would not be taking care of myself when I am depressed, and sent me some stuff from home that made me feel a little better. Chocolate cake, and soft, delicious gulab jamuns made by her can take anyone to an utterly blissful state of mind. And a phone call from my new boss can take you back to the same state of depression. That’s the reality for now. I don’t know how I am going to fit myself in this new environment, but a way I am going to find out for sure. And I promise to be happy the next time I write. Till then, signing off-
P.S- It’s freezing over here. I’m shivering. I cannot type anymore.
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