Pomes of Axi Denz!November 1, 2013
FE says -A beautiful experiment of poetry by Col Kanchan Bhattacharya using a language that is fast gaining popularity. Hope this diwali there are no axi denz and only fun just like this poem. N-joy!
azoom dat v can 4C axi-denz n close r ize! No ax dents den?
But den axidenz okker steel! cut fingurs etcee
Man climb cocnut tree. throze coocnut. cooocnut no go, man falls!
un4seen obscene axxiden! vie stand?
Call ambulanz dumkopf man pronto-z!
One mo story 4 u?
Now dis axiden wuz okker off da PortaSpain coast,
Most turist don go dere- they lost in da Barbadoze
Just seventeen miles off in da blue Saragossa Sea
Dis man wuz playin widda simpal good monkee
Who climbz da tree every day, and throze
Da banana anda cocnutz and the sumpin day all knows
All what you shows da monkee nose ah treek or two
And the kids down da sands they clap and say woohoo!
So da monkee gets wise and by heez tail he swing
And down dere onda sands da cheeky woman in G string
She looks at her book by J Hadley Chase thru dark glassez
Then monkee thinks funny he sings Speedy Gonzalez
Da woman is surprise she looks at da singing monkee
She yellz and she scream at him at da face in da tree
And da monkee he just say mama mia you likes me?
And so da woman she yelz more at da pore monkee
Now what is axiden here do you done know so just clap
Da monkee come down the tree and da woman is a slap
And he keys her hard and he give her da two new cocnutz
And da woman goes cherry red- she begun to crying blush
So da monkee goes to his tree the boyz green at him
And he grin hard throes da cocnutz to da fat boy slim
And da fat kid cries with his mouth in da brokun head
Da men in da shed come runinn and rush fat boy to bed
Now da monkee is happy, he sing ol lulla la olay la olay oh!
And da women in da beach say someone kill da monkee oh
But da monkey, he know women like da cocnutz meat raw
So he starts peelin da cocnutz sitting on da tree! awwww!
Now guess what? Dis eez a woman and monkee affair
Not in da zoo not at da home but in da beach they pair
Dey makes it looking funny da woman cries fouls
Becoz da monkey is a freak he screams and scowls
So where wuz da axiden? Da monkee is fine at noon
Da men dey comes and say to da firemen very soon
Go catch da monkee and cut off his hairy under-alls
Or do something soon, save da beach and da molls
So d firemen dey start da pump and picks d water hose
It’s my end da monkey now worries and scratch his nose
Da men dey gets ready and spread da nets on ground
And da capuchin he smiles, he know da way around…
When da men dey thought dey had him tied down close
Da monkee screeched and he slithered down da hose
And den he scratch and tore at da fireman captain’s fat bum
And da kids on da beach roared, dey were monkee’s chum!
So da monkee ran into da cocnutz bush far from beach
You could hea da fireman captain’s hi peach screech
And to make matters worse da beach woman on da sands
Had gone mad looking at ha cocnutz on rubba bands-
Dees were capped with da two hard cocnutz shells
And inside dat were soft things dat stars foretells
Dat dees wuz an axiden waiting to happen
With da monkee messin wd da homo sapens!
So Doctor J now you see dere r axidens and axidens
Dat you sometimes not foresee, and tell dat pleez 2 RJ!
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