Pomes of Axi Denz!

 

FE says -A beautiful experiment of poetry by Col Kanchan Bhattacharya using a language that is fast gaining popularity. Hope this diwali there are no axi denz and only fun just like this poem.  N-joy!

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azoom dat v can 4C axi-denz n close r ize! No ax dents den?

But den axidenz okker steel! cut fingurs etcee

Man climb cocnut tree. throze coocnut. cooocnut no go, man falls!

No?

un4seen obscene axxiden! vie stand?

Call ambulanz dumkopf man pronto-z!

One mo story 4 u?

 

Now dis axiden wuz okker off da PortaSpain coast,

Most turist don go dere-  they lost in da Barbadoze

Just seventeen miles off in da blue Saragossa Sea

Dis man wuz playin widda simpal good monkee

 

Who climbz da tree every day, and throze

Da banana anda cocnutz and the sumpin day all knows

All what you shows da monkee nose ah treek or two

And the kids down da sands they clap and say woohoo!

 

So da monkee gets wise and by heez tail he swing

And down dere onda sands da cheeky woman in G string

She looks at her book by J Hadley Chase thru dark glassez

Then monkee thinks funny he sings Speedy Gonzalez

 

Da woman is surprise she looks at da singing monkee

She yellz and she scream at him at da face in da tree

And da monkee he just say mama mia you likes me?

And so da woman she yelz more at da pore monkee

 

Now what is axiden here do you done know so just clap

Da monkee come down the tree and da woman is a slap

And he keys her hard and he give her da two new cocnutz

And da woman goes cherry red- she begun to crying blush

 

So da monkee goes to his tree the boyz green at him

And he grin hard throes da cocnutz to da fat boy slim

And da fat kid cries with his mouth in da brokun head

Da men in da shed come runinn and rush fat boy to bed

 

Now da monkee is happy, he sing ol lulla la olay la olay oh!

And da women in da beach say someone kill da monkee oh

But da monkey, he know women like da cocnutz meat raw

So he starts peelin da cocnutz sitting on da tree! awwww!

 

Now guess what? Dis eez a woman and monkee affair

Not in da zoo not at da home but in da beach they pair

Dey makes it looking funny da woman cries fouls

Becoz da monkey is a freak he screams and scowls

 

So where wuz da axiden? Da monkee is fine at noon

Da men dey comes and say to da firemen very soon

Go catch da monkee and cut off his hairy under-alls

Or do something soon, save da beach and da molls

 

So d firemen dey start da pump and picks d water hose

It’s my end da monkey now worries and scratch his nose

Da men dey gets ready and spread da nets on ground

And da capuchin he smiles, he know da way around…

 

When da men dey thought dey had him tied down close

Da monkee screeched and he slithered down da hose

And den he scratch and tore at da fireman captain’s fat bum

And da kids on da beach roared, dey were monkee’s chum!

 

So da monkee ran into da cocnutz bush far from beach

You could hea da fireman captain’s hi peach screech

And to make matters worse da beach woman on da sands

Had gone mad looking at ha cocnutz on rubba bands-

 

Dees were capped with da two hard cocnutz shells

And inside dat were soft things dat stars foretells

Dat dees wuz an axiden waiting to happen

With da monkee messin wd da homo sapens!

 

So Doctor J now you see dere r axidens and axidens

Dat you sometimes not foresee, and tell dat pleez 2 RJ!

 

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