How to destroy your looks by ten simple things.

Alright, you are fed up with your extremely good looks and would like to play around a bit. You have developed a destructive mentality and the first thing you would like to damage beyond repair is your pretty face. You are a rebel;you are a non conformist. While the whole world endeavors to preserve their youth , their looks , you would like to be different.

We have just the thing for you. This guide will tell you just how to lose your looks , your milky complexion and smooth,soft,healthy,beautiful skin as rapidly as the sinking Titanic. We will not inquire why this sudden twisted thought but yes what we are bringing before you is a well researched authentic information. As they say knowledge is a big tool, a powerful weapon, how you utilise it is of course up to you.

1/ Alcohol– The best thing to destroy your lovely appearance with is of course alcohol. Have loads of it and develop baggy, blood shot eyes. Sounds fashionable isn’t it? Add to it you will have blotchy skin, puff up and you will stink and smell or you might shrink and almost aquire a mummified appearance. Just the right thing, isn’t it? If that doesn’t do it, do not worry. It is a potent weapon and will act through your liver to deliver just the thing for you.

2/Smoking and tobacco. – Nicotine stains, stench of stale tobacco, dirty rotten teeth , blackened lips, ulcerated mouth and so… this is just the killer for you (pun intended). Your looks will vanish bit by bit and you will not even realise how, until one fine day, to your utter surprise you will discover that you hardly know the person who is staring back at you from the mirror. If that doesn’t do it , then cancer and chemotherapy will surely grant your death wish.

3/Late nights and inadequate sleep- Late nights and inadequate sleep will make you as cute as the Himalayan racoon. With dark circles as large as the size of a cricket ball , shrunken face and a horrid scowl, you will certainly look different and can give Freddy of Nightmare on Elm Street a run for his money.

4/Junk food- Junk food is a very good idea of having fun while at work or the phrase – mixing business with pleasure. You treat yourself with goodies while on the other hand you achieve what you aspire for. You bloat and bloat some more as you load yourself with the junk at every space available of your body not to mention the skin affectation you sometimes aquire as a bonus.

5/Scanty water – Water makes your skin look, healthy, fresh and glowing. Plenty of water keeps you looking hydrated and young. The very reason that you should run away from it, avoid it like the plague and keep yourself parched and dry . If you continue doing that without fail you will shrink, dry up like a stick, your skin will become as dry as a bone, become flaky and leathery. Yes mission accomplished easily.

6/ The sun- Light skinned people love a tan- a healthy bronze tan and would go to any length just to have one. Well you just have to over do it to get charred permanently, develop maybe some deep rashes , not to mention the risk of skin carcinoma. It also does some amazing mess up with the texture of the skin.

7/Unhygienic skin- Don’t wash your face frequently. Let the grime and dirt accumulate like a recurrent deposit of your bank account. No need to moisturise, clean, soap or moisturise it. And thy wish will be fulfilled.

8/ Cheap dubious skin products are a great way to pop up some erruptions on your face and skin , sometimes as quick as instantly. The more dubious it is, better is the negative effect.

9/ Are you happy? Feeling peaceful and contented? Oh no! Please don’t be or else it will show on your face as a healthy pink glow, making you look angelic. Pout a lot, frown whenever it is possible and make scowl a permanent fixture. You will develop some great wrinkles and of course you have the bonus of looking disgruntled and ugly.

10/ Fresh fruits and fresh greens are the things to be avoided if you want to do away with great skin. They will make you cry out in frustration with their persistent attempt to make you look totally edible. So head for the refrigerator and chuck out all things that come with a label “fresh’

Well , those were our Fried guide on how to do away with your looks permanently. If you can add to the list then please feel free to comment on it. We will be glad to be enlightened some more

We welcome your comments at letters@friedeye.com

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