By Miss IntelActual
1. Your in laws are not your enemy by default. Yes we have had enough of the saas bahu serials promoting love-hate relationships with the in laws, but in reality they are not that bad. Unless, of course, you have actually got onto their wrong foot, or they have predecided to hate you, they too understand that you are a human being who is not necessarily perfect, and expect to be able to like you.
2. For every disagreement you have with your in laws, do not expect your husband to intervene or choose sides. You may be right most of the time, but at times when you are wrong it’s going to be hard for him to be on your side. Although he loves you, he can not just turn his back towards his family.
3. Introspect every issue with an open mind. This would help you realise if you are wrong. Say sorry, if need be.
4. Do not compare your mother, father, sister or brother with his. The day you start doing it, consider to have started on a bitter journey. Your in laws can love you but may sometimes not match up to your parents’ love. Accept it that way and understand that everybody is different.
5. IGNORE. Learn to ignore or develop the habit to ignore. At the spur of the moment sometime your in laws might say something out of anger or frustration but it isn’t necessary that they mean it. Or even if they mean it, ignoring it is the best possible solution. Try not to take every small comment to heart.
6. Never bitch about his family members in front of him. If they are wrong he would automatically understand it unless you are married to someone who has shut his brain off.
7. Although it’s hard to change people, if you think something is wrong, do speak up your mind. Be vocal about it. Remember not to bitch but to point out. Like wise sometimes they too can point out your mistakes. You are not perfect. And neither are they.
8. Gone are the days when nothing was expected out of the “jawai” and even the jawais have changed now. So when you expect your hubby to care of your parents isn’t it a good idea to care for his parents too?
9. While it is fun to discuss in laws with friends and colleague it is also important to understand when to draw the line. Sometimes certain issues are very personal and your colleague doesn’t have the right to know about it.
10. Your parents have the right to know if you are uncomfortable at your husband’s house. It is also equally important for you to keep petty fights between you and your husband to yourself only. If required visit a counsellor. Your best friend in office doesn’t understand your family and so she can not advice you the correct way . Take advice but use your brains to decide what is best for you.
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