Karuna Rasa or Grief
She lays her head in his arms. He wraps them around her, protecting her, cushioning her. Her eyes are closed as he cuddles her in his arms, lulling her gently to sleep. The moon passes over a bright sheet of pure white over them, washing away the darkness, though only for a moment, as they are engulfed in the eternal dark again. He kisses her lightly on the forehead. She is asleep, finally.
“Sleep my lover. Slide into the oblivion and let me protect you from everything that is impure. Glide over the clouds, smile over the sun and jump over the moon. Do not worry about this side of the material world, where everything is greed, jealousy, death and hate. Sleep my darling. And never let anyone hurt you.
Sometimes I feel like you have gone away. Gone away like the day you went away. But then somehow I always end you finding you. Sometimes I feel like I hate you more than I love you. Because they say hate is the only pure emotion. It cannot be corrupted. And sometimes I feel my love for you to be overwhelming. Is this what being madly in love feels like? I recall everything from the day we met to this day. Every small incident, everything it just floats around me as if I am living in a dream. And the one thing that is common in everything I see is you, my dear. Yes, it’s you, everywhere, every time.
And now, when I see you sleeping so peace fully, I feel a sense of peace in myself. Why do you have to be so playful all the time? Like a butterfly, you glide. A butterfly looks so beautiful when it is flying but you are my butterfly and you have to be with me. I remember the day when you tried to go away and I had to try to so hard to keep you with me. And I had to put you to sleep.
Sleep now Princess because soon I will have to go. I will have to go and find you again. I will lead a restless life because I know I will have to find you. And again, I will have to put you to sleep. You are my butterfly, always running, always gliding always loving to be free. If you hadn’t decided to be free that one time, I would never have had to find you again. And again and again. But I think this is what love is all about. It wipes away the thin boundary and washes to the other side of hate. I do not hate you my love. But I want my emotions for you to be pure and only hate can be so pure. I have to despise you to keep loving you.
So goodbye now my darling. I know you are sleeping in peace. And I am sorry about the mess I made. I am sure they will come soon and clean you up. But I have to go now. I have to go and be restless until I find you again, in another form. My love for you is eternal. And the only way it can survive is by taking the form of hate. Forgive me if I have hurt you but it is necessary sometimes. I know you will forgive me because you know how much I love you.”
He kisses her on the eyes. As he places her head on the pillow gently, he smiles. The moon shining on her pale face makes her look like an angel. But he has to protect her from the devils. And soon they will be here. Lightly he treads and locks the door. As he walks back to his sad life, he hears the approaching yellow lights, glowing in the dark.
He has to find her again. His eternal love. His butterfly. His angel. His Hate!!
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