The great thing about being single apart from the obvious benefit of not having to stare at only one girl is the freedom you get whenever you want to have that glass of fine red wine in a party. In each of my previous relationships, almost all my girls were absolute wine haters, and I couldn’t manage to get them to change their views even after making them listen to a cardiologist about the ‘so called’ benefits of red wine. Can you believe it? Of course, that was one of the reasons for my breakups. But, let’s not get into that here. After all, it’s considered bad manners to wash your dirty linen in public, isn’t it?
You must be wondering, how this guy who doesn’t answer questions anymore has suddenly appeared and without so much of an explanation starts giving us fundas about why wine hating girls won’t make a good girlfriend! Well you are right to think that I don’t know anything about either wine or its health benefits, but as Hogwarts very aptly mentions in its tagline “Never tickle the whiskers’ of a sleeping dragon.”, so you absolutely shouldn’t do that. Yes, I am the dragon here, and yes my whiskers’ were tickled in the last issue. My very good friend Miss Cellany decided to do that great act of courage on her part. She was very enthusiastic about how to plan your perfect date, and it was all so full of romance that she forgot to mention just one tiny detail in her piece. I am here today to fill that gap and save every one of you out there.
The sad truth of the matter is that “Boys should never ever plan, nay even think about a perfect date”. This whole concept of a perfect date is fictituous. Well in some rare cases, the dates do materialize into something close to perfection, but then that is entirely the handiwork of the guy rather than that of the girl. Think about what I have just said, take a moment and delve deep into your ‘perfect’ dates. Did the girl really do anything other than sit, and talk useless crap that you were not bothered about? She didn’t, right? So our Miss Cellany used so many technical terms like aura, music, ambience and what not. I was shit scared! I thought, My God what is this girl up to; such blasphemy in public forum? This had to stop. So, here I am to save you all.
First and foremost, the most dangerous thing for a boy is the idea of a perfect date that a girl has. It’s this idea that has made or broken many relationships that I have seen. The girl assumes that the guy will do something very special for her, and when he doesn’t than she is shattered beyond belief and thinks that the whole male population are just pigs.
Secondly, if you manage to make your date very close to perfect than the expectations on you are raised so high that however hard you try the girl will never ever be satisfied. In any case, girls are very hard to satisfy. They think something and then do something. I am pretty sure they keep on thinking what they want, and then end up getting something that they never wanted in the first place, and which ultimately makes her desire to want the thing she wanted at first much more acute. Whoa, that was a real tough one from me; even I didn’t get what I wanted to say.
Thirdly, boys are never appreciated for a ‘perfect’ date. It’s always the girls who are credited when they have a great time. It’s always the boy who opens her car door, who reaches out to pay the bill, and it’s always the boy who has to make the first move. My oh my, is this really fair?
Now, I can keep on adding points after points why you should never listen to what Miss Cellany says, but I think this much is enough to drive my point home. I am also sure that this post by me will ruin whatever chance I had to go on a date with a ‘perfect girl’. But for me, I always consider sharing my wisdom to others above my romantic needs because this ain’t anything personal against Miss Cellany ,but rather a sincere attempt to bust the myth of a Perfect Date.
