Fried Eye

Ocean

Posted on 01. Apr, 2010 by Mani Padma in Fiction, Issue 7, Issues, Sections, Vol. I

A vast ocean and here I was trying to swim. Now how did I reach here? Who Am I? I remembered nothing. Where was I? How did I get here? What was I trying to do exactly? I did not know how to swim. Didn’t remember learning it either, so what was I doing here suddenly splashing about. Was I going to drown?

“Help” I shouted. Amidst the splashes and attempts to float, I had a vision of something like a shore at a distance. In fact not too far, but still, quite a distance away and yes! It was a shore. I tried to make a feeble attempt to move forward. I was getting tired, but I was amazed that I hadn’t drowned yet.

Oh My God! It had to be a dream..ofcourse this couldn’t be true. I tried to will myself to wake up, but to no avail. I was still in the ocean trying to keep myself afloat and amazingly was doing very naturally something that I had never done earlier.

I won’t say I was doing a good job. Sometimes floating , sometimes gulping tones of salty water , sometimes gasping, but yes I was managing to move forward with a slow speed….And it was then , I saw him … … … pebbles in hand , playing with them, tossing them- catching them mid air.

I shouted for help. He didn’t hear or he did maybe…but he did not look at me. I shouted for help…. praying for him to notice me, but in vain,he just did not notice…

This time he turned towards me and saw, but there was surprisingly neither surprise nor curiosity, just an amused look, with a hint of smile.

“Please help me” I cried out. I was still quite a distance away. I was fatigued. He looked at me for a moment, smiled and then started fiddling with his pebbles again. Goodness! Was he blind?

I was sure, I was about to collapse but his callousness angered me so much that I felt a new vigor in me. The muscles ceased to ache now. The fatigue seemed to drain off. I felt fresh. He just kept smiling, playing with the pebbles.

But what was this? The more I seemed to swim towards the shore the farther I was thrown away by the waves. He was still there playing with the pebbles. Didn’t he see me? Why was he ignoring me or was he? There seemed to be an air of nonchalance around him. Everything was becoming so surreal. Was I kidnapped by any chance?

As I plunged forwards, a giant wave came up and literally drowned me. There was water everywhere, I could not see anything. My lungs were bursting. Oh my God! Did he not see me? What was going on? Did he intend to let me drown?

I screamed in terror. I felt like giving up. I wouldn’t have been able to hold on much longer. Just when I was about to give up and just let go, I felt something buoying me up as if I was being set afloat by an unseen force. Gradually the waters calmed down considerably. I saw him, a blur. He was still concentrating on the pebbles that he held but with intensity as if he was willing something to happen. I yelled at him in anger and frustration but he just smiled and walked a little farther away.

I started crying in desperation. Was I hallucinating? Illusions? It was still a mystery how I was drifting afloat all strength sapped away. I felt exhausted, sleep taking over me. Yes! I wanted to sleep, never to wake again and then I just lost awareness of all sensations. I fell asleep (I know it sounds ridiculous) Maybe when I wake up I will find it to be a dream. I don’t know since how long I had been drifting. I was thirsty and weary. Something eerie something mysterious was going on. I swam confusedly as I realized that I had drifted far away. There was no shore to be seen. I was lost. A gripping fear seized me. Oh God! What was happening? This was so unreal. I tried to swim on. There must be a way out. Or was the only way out the hard way. Should I just let everything go? Maybe this was a riddle and the only way out was just going with the flow and let the waves take you to wherever it lead to.

Where was he? How could he let go? Had he something to do with this? Was I just a pawn in some greater conspiracy? I felt light headed and dizzy. This time I was finished. Maybe it was better this way. To pass away insignificantly, alone unattended. A sob escaped my lips. A great grief seemed to encompass me. I took a deep breath and then let myself be submerged. I did not want to struggle anymore. I did not have the strength. I closed my eyes and … suddenly I felt a hand grasp my hand and heave me up to terra firma.

I coughed, shivered and looked up at my savior. It was Him! I was shocked. Where did he appear from now?

“What is all these? Who are you” I asked him with a surprisingly menacing calm.

He smiled, a strange luminescence radiating from him.

“That”, pointing to the ocean he said, “was life.”

“AND I AM GOD”

And then he was gone!!!